lundi 25 octobre 2010

Tugged Heartstrings

Here I am, taking a little break for lunch before my first class in my second term of this semester. My Conducting class was canceled this morning, which added a little extra time for me to relax, settle, and get re-accustomed to being on my own again. I kissed my love good-bye and won't be seeing him again until the end of this year.

Let me rewind quite a ways, back to before Fall Break even started.

The few weeks before break were stressful and difficult, to say the least. All the doctor's appointments and feeling sick, combined with classwork and rehearsing, really took their toll on me. I was burnt-out and in desperate need of time to settle down, relax, and not do much of anything. When 7pm on Friday the 15th rolled around, I took a deep breath and just let myself exhale my first 8 weeks of stress out of my system and take in the freedom of 9 days vacation. Of course, I had to clean up my room and get it organized for Health/Safety Checks and the arrival of my boyfriend to stay with me for the final portion of my week off. Guess what? All of my boxes are put away, all of my books and papers are pretty much organized, and all that remains on my floor to put away is a bag of laundry that I did at my mom's place! Do you realize how big of an achievement that is?! This is the cleanest and most organized that my room has been since I moved in. Which was... 9 weeks ago. I'm proud of myself!

My boyfriend arrived last Sunday, and it was wonderfully amazing. Well, it always is; no surprises there. I make myself laugh sometimes at how giddy and sentimentally in love I am. Especially when the time for him to come draws closer and closer. I probably annoy my friends around because of how much I talk about him sometimes. What can I say? I'm hopelessly in love with him! It comes in the job description as being in a relationship, at least in my book.

That being said about me being so happy that he came, Sunday beginning at 5pm was not a good time at all. Monday I was scheduled for a double whammy of a colonoscopy and endoscopy, so I had to drink this absolutely horrid prep drink every 10 minutes as quickly as I could. The two of us played a game of Lord of the Rings Monopoly, and he kicked my bum. I've never played so serious of a game before! And it lasted ages. The perfect game when you have to get up every few minutes or so to go to the bathroom.After taking half of that nasty stuff, I couldn't keep it down any longer. Even a tiny sip would cause me to have to run to the bathroom and vomit it back up again. The good news is that I was finally able to bring something up again.  For the past month I had been nauseous but nothing would come up. It took 6 hours, but finally my system was as cleaned out as it would ever be before the procedures the following day. (This is probably more information than you'd care to know, but oh well. You're going to have to go through this same procedure when you turn 40 or so. So there.)

Monday morning was not fun either. I could not consume anything since midnight, so I was dehydrated. Not too hungry though since for the past while no food would agree with my digestive system.

(It's time for a break. I will return after my classes today. Stay tuned.)

My mom, J, and I headed over to outpatient surgery, and I did the hour of preparation before the procedures. It was so sweet how the two of them went in to wish me luck before they rolled me away. And so J came up to me and gave me a nice kiss, squeezing my hand, and sending me loving energy. One of the nurses whispered in my ear how cute he was. It's nice to hear people say that. Of course, he's the most attractive man alive! Thankfully, I was given an anesthetic, so I was off in dreamland whilst everything was done. Then I woke up groggy and ready to try and eat something. The doctor came back and said that according to the pictures they took of me, I have a beautiful intestine and esophagus. I'm not quite sure I agree about the attractiveness of my insides, but I trust his judgement. He's a doctor specializing in those kinds of areas.

For my first real meal in quite a few days, we went to Denny's, and I had a nice and filling Grand Slam. It was too much for me, and my digestive system made me suffer afterwards, but it was yummy.

The days ensuing weren't too monumental. My love was a wonderful help while my mom was working, and we watched some pretty good films. Wednesday we ate out at a nice place in the historic area of where I live and shared a great meal of chicken teriyaki, rice pilaf, salad, rolls, and crab rangoon.

Thursday evening, J and I ventured back to my apartment on-campus. It was our 1 year and 7 month anniversary! We went to the Chocolate Bar down in the city and shared an awesome meal of bread and cheeses. And these were not standard cheeses. Nope, they were delectable and not commonly found (in this country, even). The people I live with enjoyed his company which is nice, since he'll be coming back to visit next semester for Opera Scenes and my Junior Recital. We discovered the amazingness that is the Lord of the Rings card game and watched more films with friends.

Every time we're together, he rejuvenates and refreshes me. I put my crazy, stressful life on pause (while still trying to keep in mind what I have to accomplish after he leaves) and surrender to our embraces. Our strong hugs, wide ranges of kisses, and just plain silliness mean the world to me. We may not always get along, and we typically have some kind of conversation of conflicts, but challenges such as those have only made us stronger and better at learning how we can understand and respect one another. I'm still learning patience with him and his second love, computers and technology, and he's still learning about my complicated emotions and buttons that can be pushed. There is still so much that we can and will learn about each other in the future.  My confidence and trust in him and our relationship are steadily blossoming and opening up to new levels each time we're together and re-connecting.

Saying good-bye is very difficult. I go through this period where I can't help but cry knowing that there will be quite some time in between our next visiting one another.  It's not so happy, but I pull through. I've had time to release my emotions and then get back into the swing of classes and rehearsals.

Tugged heartstrings are blessings to me. They help me to really connect with my emotions and feel all the aspects of love.

Love and Blessings to you,
<3 Me

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